Always a constant struggle between sparking that sense of wonder and accepting a specific version of bitter reality.

Put your lips close to mine
As long as they don’t touch
Out of focus, eye to eye
Till the gravity’s too much
And I’ll do anything you say
If you say it with your hands
And I’d be smart to walk away,
But you’re quicksand

~   Sarah Dessen (This Lullaby)

I got a sip of your poison. But it never truly intoxicated me.

Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you?

There should be a big circle of people on Tumblr who dedicate themselves to following back/ not lying about it.

Then the outcasts can be the unfollowers.

I’ll finally get my revenge muahahahaha.

What’s that? Get a life.

This is my life, my dear. My pathetic life :)

Follow me and I’ll follow you back until forever (forever only ends if you unfollow me first).

I always follow back! Promise :)

~   Shakespeare

I’m 18. I’m in college. I discovered the Internet a long time ago.

Enough said.

Also. BAHAHHAHA. You’re too cute, old man. “Bedtimes”  bahahhahah. I’ll stop.

It’s kinda pathetic how I secretly used to read at night. And last night I read The Fault In Our Stars.

It influenced my dreams.

The boy that I’m trying to not like… Well I hook up with him in my dream, get some red & black tattoo, then ask for his watch so I could dress up like a character in a book. AHEM.

Weird thing is SPOILER ALERT. Aajdajfkhs,fhskjHazelandGushookedupanditwasoneofthelastthingsIreadAJFBKJABASGB.

I’m not sure how to explain it. But I almost felt like I was lucidly dreaming.

And the hooking up with said boy. It was satisfying yet so so bizarre. Because in the dream right after I hook up with him and leave…I text my best friend saying I finally got a boyfriend. Bahahhahahahhaha.

God, I’m so pathetic. Forever alone <3

I added a little something to this table. #starbucks #quote #artsy #college
#picstitch #starbucks #artsy This is pretty cool.
Do you ever feel that way? Love is cruel. To fall for someone who I know I&#8217;m just going to have to leave. There are so many barriers and requirements. I want to love. Love should have no boundaries. I push him away so he doesn&#8217;t get close. I can&#8217;t have him like me or love me. I don&#8217;t want to hurt him when I eventually have to leave him. It sucks. Life makes things like this very difficult. I never want to say goodbye but eventually I have to.

With the idea of you. It’s not rejection I feared. It’s not taking a chance to see the real you. It’s giving up and not knowing what I give up. But I feel relieved. Like, you kinda fucking suck. I will not wait for you. I will not chase after you. I refuse to be that desperate and clingy girl. My feminazi bitch ways may be back. But, I’m so happy. I need someone who can actually give a shit. You’re reckless and careless. I’m naive and cautious. There’s no need for a friendship. Shame, all that time wasted thinking about you. Have fun with your life. Enjoy figuring things out. Because I will enjoy figuring out what I need instead of what I want. I don’t need you. Goodbye.

Opaque  by  andbamnan